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5 Detailed Signs And Vibes Of A Toxic Relationship.

You might just be in a toxic relationship, find out!…Here are detailed signs and vibes of a toxic relationship.

Ever felt the pressure of a one-sided relationship, the pain of putting in so much but getting so little. The pain of engaging in toxic relationships are usually quite depressing and tiring. In a world where so much is said about Mental healths and taking proper measures to ensure it is always in check, a toxic relationship is one to be definitely avoided and dissociated from if in any, we keenly acknowledge that there are no perfect humans hence no perfect relationships—hence constant effort is usually the distinguishing factor. However, Identifying toxic relationships can prove difficult since people change and circumstances do also. But,’’ voila!’’ we’d be leaving no stone unturned and no truths are hidden as we discuss this; I swear on my honor LOL!.

 

Toxic relationships can be in various level of relationships;

  • Romantic relationships
  • Platonic relationships
  • Family relationships

It exists in a whole lot of ways, but one definite thing is Toxic relationships are not any good

Now that properly established, it is worthy to know what exactly are the signs that point to toxicity in a relationship. There are a tonne of signs that could be very clear only if the right attention is paid to finding out. Some of the signs are;

1. Lack of trust;

 

This is usually a signal to identifying a relationship that is becoming or that is already toxic. For a relationship in its early stages, this could be considered insignificant or not-so-concerning as trust is not considered to be given but earned. However, as far as progress goes it is expected to smoothen out. Lack of trust in a relationship can cause real damages from Overthinking to Insecurities and when all of these are becoming quite dominating in a relationship—it gets pretty toxic

2. Hostile atmosphere; Constant anger and abusive approach are some of the clearest signs of an unhealthy and toxic relationship. It takes the relationship to a place of fear and raises doubts about physical safety in such relationships. Physical and verbal abuse creates a hostile atmosphere in a relationship which makes one unsure of the intentions of the other.

 

3. Lack of communication; As far as the signs go, this is the most easily noticed vibe of a toxic relationship. A relationship where communication is one-sided can be really problematic also a situation whereby the communication is forced. A healthy relationship is supposed to have free-flowing communication ‘’if there is no intimacy through communication there should be no intimacy at all’’. Proper relationships have no issues expressing and communicating their feelings and desires, lack of communication is one of the earliest signs of toxicity in a relationship; usually, it sends the message of lost interest in either partner also results to over-thinking, presumptions, anxiety, doubts, fears, and worries. Also sends the relationship to a state of the afore-mentioned point; Lack of trust, coupled with insecurities as one cannot ascertain the reason for no communication.

4. Absence of respect; A relationship where there is an absence of mutual respect or a relationship with one-sided input of respect is an unhealthy one. It undermines and gives the feeling of un-worthiness to the party concerned. Lack or absence of basic respect is a huge sign of a toxic relationship.

 

5. Unreciprocated efforts; This is the bedrock of toxic relationships— toxic relationships are generally one-sided. In a relationship where one party gives all the love, care, support: without any valid reciprocation from the other is a glaring signal of toxic vibes. Toxic relationships are usually in the form of ‘’ALL TAKE, NO GIVE’’ if you find yourself in a relationship with this feature, you are most likely in a toxic relationship.

There are many more signals but these points shared to do a great job in listing the most accurate and concise signs in identifying toxic relationships.

It is worthy to note that not all toxic relationships are caused by toxic people, a couple of times it could be as a result of; Compatibility, individual differences, misplaced priorities, lack of understanding, intolerance, naivety, and no proper enlightenments and past experiences. These and more we would talk about on the next post. Keep refreshing the page, it’d be here soon!! 😀😀

FemiOtedola

Femi Otedola: The Billionaire Who Lost Everything

 

This is a true life story of Nigerian billionaire Femi Otedola on the day he lost everything

Life was rosy for Femi Otedola until it took a sudden turn leaving him billions in the red. He had to start all over again.

In 2008, a shipment containing one million tons of diesel set sail, heading for the shores of Nigeria. The owner of the vessel, Femi Otedola, Chairman of Forte Oil, a petroleum and power generation company, had grown the company to one of the largest in Nigeria, with over 500 filling stations, according to Forbes. The growth had been rapid and profits were at an all-time high. Then disaster struck.

“I had about 93 percent of the diesel market on my fingertips. All of a sudden oil prices collapsed and I had over one million tons of diesel on the high seas and the price dropped from $146 to $34” —Femi Otedola.

That was only the beginning of his problems. The naira was subsequently devalued and interest began to skyrocket. When the dust settled, Otedola had lost over $480 million due to the plunge in oil prices, $258 million through the devaluation of the naira, a further $320 million due to accruing interest and then finally $160 million when the stocks crashed.

“I had two options, either to commit suicide or to weather the storm. I decided to weather the storm. I just knew it was a phase I had to go through.

You see God prepares you for greater things and of course experience is the best teacher so I had to learn my lessons. I took the bitter pill”. — Femi Otedola

Otedola was now $1.2 billion in debt. He sought solace in the only thing that had set him on the path to discovering oil, destiny.

“You cannot compete with destiny, so it was my destiny to make billions every month and lose billions as well. I said to myself ‘I was not going to have friends and enemies, I was only going to have competitors.”

At the age of six, Otedola had already discovered his knack for business. He would provide manicure and pedicure services to his father and his friends and write them a receipt for payment.

On his birthday, while all his friends wanted toys, Femi Otedola would ask his father for a briefcase instead. His father, Sir. Michael Otedola, as a former Governor of Lagos State, was a well respected man. But now, his son’s public fall threatened to destroy that name.

“After I lost the money, something that struck me was that my father had always been my role model in life and the first thing I had to do was to protect his name. He had a policy; honesty was the best policy, so I had to protect that name and his integrity.”

Just after the global banking crisis had struck, the Nigerian government established the Asset Management Corporation of Nigeria (AMCON) to buy up distressed loans. Otedola’s loan was sold to AMCON, by the bank he blamed for his challenges.

“Experience is the best teacher. I didn’t have a proper structure and I also put the blame on the banks for not advising me. All they were interested in was the profits. They were not interested in sustainability of the business, they were short-sighted and all they were interested in was throwing money at me. So they never advised me,” — Femi Otedola.

The banks had to shave off about $400 million from the debt leaving Otedola $800 million in the red. AMCON offered him a restructuring deal, which Otedola declined. He opted instead to repay what he owed and start all over again.

“So we got a reputable firm to value my assets. I had about 184 flats, which I gave up. I was the largest investor in the Nigerian banking sector, which I gave up, I was also a major shareholder of Africa Finance Corporation and I was the Chairman of Transcorp Hilton. I was a shareholder in Mobil Oil Nigeria Limited, the second largest shareholder in Chevron Texaco, Visafone and several companies which they valued, and I had to give up to repay the debt.”

Femi Otedola was left with just two properties, his office space and a 34-percent stake in African Petroleum, which he rebranded, to Forte Oil in 2010.

In 2014, Otedola bounced back to reclaim his place on the FORBES rich list and currently has a net worth of $1.8 billion, according to the FORBES wealth unit.

These days, he is much wiser; there are systems in place to prevent a similar collapse of his mammoth business empire.

According to the mogul, the day he lost everything was the day he learned his biggest lesson.

It taught him that he could overcome anything.

 

Quotes To Live By;

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If I fall, I’ll fall five feet four inches forward in the fight for freedom. I’m not backing off.” ― Fannie Lou Hamer

“When you fall down, rise up. When you fall again, rise up again. This is just a developmental process that makes a healthy baby become a successful man.” ― Israelmore Ayivor